I’ve been thinking a huge amount this year about my own career, my skills and my networks. I think perhaps it is the age of my children, now in late primary school and so much more independent than they were before.

Getting the kids ready in the morning now involves me yelling “Time to get ready” a billion times, rather than actually putting clothes on wriggling octopuses.  I can say “you can make your own breakfast, it’s a good lesson to learn” when they complain about being hungry.  I can even walk around the block sometimes without them in tow.

(Of course, there are plenty of negatives about this age too…the arguments and bickering are like small blunt toothpicks being shoved into my eyes and ears, but that’s a story for another day)

It has a left a little more space to reflect about “what’s next” for me (actually I totally don’t have any more “space” but I think I’m in denial on that, so lets just run with it) and where I want to possibly go with this blog.

I’m getting excited and passionate again about all things leadership, communications and workplace empowering.  I’m excited to be volunteering my time this year for the IABC (International Association of Business Communicators) in Canberra, as Director of Professional Development and Recognition and absorbing all the industry updates and expert insights.

So, you might start hearing me talking more about these kinds of topics on this here little ole’ blog. There are so many things buzzing around in my brain that it helps to throw them all out into the universe.

I’m sure I will still talk about my juggles with work life harmony (it’s totally uncool now to say “balance” by the way…because we all know that balance is unrealistic, it is never balanced, it is constantly swaying in one direction or another. But harmony, defined by the Collins Dictionary as “The harmony of something is the way in which its parts are combined into a  pleasant arrangement” soo…now I’m shooting for “pleasant arrangements” ) but I might also slip in some reflections on communications at work, what it takes to be an authentic leader and how workplaces can help employees to truly show up and shine.  My gosh, maybe I’ll even throw in some commentary about marketing and what it takes to create great content…who knows.

Saying that here means now I’m going to have to deliver on it! A pre-new year resolution perhaps?

Oh my goodness, that means it is nearly Christmas and this year I am sooo disorganised…less blog writing and more online shopping…ekkk gotta go.

 

 

I’m in a tiny little meeting room in the office. It has one wall which is a window, so I have to turn my back to it…and i have a pen in my hand and my phone and notepad on the table, so from behind I look like I’m working. But I’m not, I’m sneaking in my 15min meditation.

The last couple of days I’ve done it outside after lunch. And it has been rather lovely, the sun is starting to appear and there are blossoms on the trees. The wind blows my hair while I listen to my breath. So even though the thoughts are still going crazy in my head, I’m feeling peaceful.

But not so much in here. I have a burning ball of anxiety in my stomach. Every time I hear a noise, a shot of adrenalin curses through my body like a murderer is about to enter. I keep reminding myself that the worse thing that could happen is someone might actually open the door and say something along the lines of “what are you doing?”…or simply “err..we have this room booked”…and even the likelihood of that is very very low. Yet, my brain seems to think it needs to be on high alert anyway… and …oh yes…I’m thinking…back to the breath…back to the breath.

I’m still not sure this is helping, but I’m still doing it. I made it through without anyone interrupting me. I’m pretty confident I’m not doing this right.

But I’m doing it. Points for trying. Right?

I am not the smartest kid on the block…as my friends and family will surely attest. My general knowledge is appalling.  I’m a Trivial Pursuit failure.  I have nightmares about that moment when someone says “Oh, not fair, such an easy question, EVERYONE knows that”, because inevitably, I don’t. I am not the one that can answer the children’s many questions about the universe, animals or history.

However, I have, on a few rare occasions, been called “wise”. Which has been the biggest compliment that can be bestowed upon me.

I love the idea of being wise. I love the idea of people coming to me for advice and guidance.  To get my opinion or thoughts on something.

Clearly, I am not wise about everything.  But what age has taught me, is that you don’t have to be smart at everything to be wise about some things. And being wise is not just about having knowledge, it is about being able to combine knowledge together with experience and some level of common sense.

For me, the path to being wise, is to start by being curious. Being eager to learn. To investigate. To read. To listen to others who have experience.

Whether it is at work, or at home with the family, when I feel unsure, I know if I open myself up to being curious, the answers usually come. And, in fact, it helps to consider yourself not very smart, because that is the key that makes you willing to learn more and open you up to other people’s opinions or ideas.

Sure, you probably don’t want me on your table at the parent trivia night at the school, but I hope that my colleagues and family will sometimes value my insightful views about life, work and how we can all bring the best of ourselves to the table.

Which is why being “Curious and Wise”, just got added to my vision board, is it on yours?

I was watching my daughter at the weekend,  dancing and singing with abandon.   She is eight.  She was putting her whole heart out there,  singing, miming, doing hand gestures,  kicking, spinning…she was doing it all.

They say dance like no one is watching, but she didn’t care that I was watching…in fact,  the audience made her push harder,  throw herself more energetically into the performance.

It made my heart lift, watching her… she wasn’t self-conscious at all,  enjoying herself so much in the moment,  not caring what others think because clearly she is thinking she looks fabulous,  (after all…that  is how she is feeling on the inside)

And it made me feel nostalgic,  because I remember feeling the same way.   So many hours spent in my bedroom,  spinning and kicking.  Imagining myself on the stage.   It was so much fun.  It was awesome.

Except, then I started to feel sad.

Because where has that girl gone?   She has been replaced.   By someone who is always a little bit anxious.  Worrying a lot about what others think.    Scared she is not doing things “right”.   Someone who is held back by the knowledge that she is really not actually an amazing dancer.

Don’t get me wrong,  I am conscious of having fun in my life. But what is missing, is the reckless abandon.  Doing things that I’m not very good at, just for the joy of doing them.

It reminds me of a conversation that they were having on the MamaMia podcast the other week,  about doing things you know that you know you are not good at on purpose…because as adults, sometimes we miss the point.  That the fun is the creating,  not the output.

So,  I took some inspo from my little person and when I was feeling flat before work this morning…you guessed it…

I put on some tunes, turned it up WAY loud and I rocked it in the lounge room.   I imagined I was on the stage and everyone was loving it.

I tell you, it is near impossible to feel bad whilst dancing and singing.  It pumps through you like electricity.  And I am reminded that even though I’m a very serious and responsible adult,  I don’t always have to act like it….( I just better not tell my physio … but she didn’t specifically say no pirouettes, did she!?)

Yet again, I found myself spending my weekend drowning in a sea of recipe books.

I used to like planning meals, Hell, i used to ENJOY going to the supermarket.

But, people, those days are gone…long gone.  Planning meals is getting harder and harder by the day.  I buy food, and the kids…well…eat it.  So, then I have to buy more food.  And more food.  And more food.

And I’m not a totally organic-straight-from-the-source-of-nature kind of mum, but I do prefer home cooked meals and I am really conscious of how much fruit and veggies the kids are eating.   I find myself pondering over lunch boxes trying to calculate the protein, carbohydrate and vegetable portions that each person in the family has eaten.  Not too much sugar, too much salt, too much wheat.

And…we haven’t even got started on dinner yet.  Have we had red meat this week, fish too many times?  When will the kids have afternoon activities,  impacting what time we can eat?  When will we be home from work, will there be time to cook?  What have we got in the freezer?

Did I miss the deadline to do an online shop, yet?

This is one of those things that i just KNOW I have to get organised, otherwise it becomes a thorn in my side and an unnecessary decision that has to be made each day (apparantly there are only so many decisions you can make in a day, so you want to save it for the good stuff!).  I am so happy when my weekly meal plan is posted and we have a fully stocked fridge.

However..it has somehow become MY job, when it used to be shared with my husband.  But because I didn’t mind it, it became mine, and somehow I have ended up being the planner, the shopper and the cook.

I used to have a spreadsheet of weekly meal plans, with corresponding grocery lists.  Yep. I was one of those people.  Those spreadsheets gave me goose bumps of satisfaction. But they all needed re-doing with a family of four now in mind.  Plus I need breakfasts, lunches and dinners all to be included.  I’m exhausted.

So, I started scouring the internet for ideas to help me and , not surprisingly, there are websites that you can subscribe to that send you meal plans and shopping lists (although a lot of them are in the US…which is fine but then you have the seasons all backwards for what fresh food is available).

And then I decided to try Hello Fresh (no, this is not a paid commercial…ha ha…although, Hello Fresh team, please feel free to send me free boxes).   They deliver a box each week with a list of recipes and ingredients to cook them.   Two things ticked off at once, but still a home cooked meal.  Awesome sauce.  At least that is dinner sorted.  PLUS, the recipe cards make it easy for ANYONE (yep, that’s you husband and kids) to step in and cook.

But here’s the thing.  Now I feel guilty about it!!  Yep,  bloody guilt!  Is this being lazy? is this wasteful?  another ridiculous concept in the modern age?  First world luxury?  And, should I be ashamed of myself  that I can’t find the time to pop down the shops to feed my family?

Sigh…well, I’m just going to have to shake that off, because, frankly, guilt is a waste of my brain space.   Outsourcing things is smart, not wasteful.   And maybe some time in the near future,  I will find the space and time to enjoy planning and cooking meals again.  In the meantime, I can just bake slice with the children at the weekend instead.

On that note, I’m hungry…what’s for lunch?

Sorry peeps but I have to get onto my soap box for a small moment this week.

Miranda Devine published this short article “Don’t let your career make you a bad mother” the other week, and not surprisingly…it has caused a bit of a stir among the media.

Admittedly, when I first heard this article being discussed (on the Mamma Mia webcast), I immediately went into battle mode.  WHAT THE?  This is OUTRAGEOUS!  As they debated it out on the webcast, I found myself yelling at the radio … how dare you imply that I am a bad mother simply because I choose to go to work.

Feeling a tad defensive Claire?  Ahh…yes… possibly.

The thing is, I am a little bit sick of these silly arguments and inflammatory articles (which, mind you,  I’m sure was designed to do exactly what it has done).   Because when you break it down,  the whole argument is completely flawed by the fact that the analogy she is basing her assumptions on in the article…was, infact,  a woman who was both a mother AND a doctor…and by all accounts it appears that she managed to do both these things successfully.

Because actually,  the reality is not the either/ or debate it is made out to be.

It is not simply a choice between being a crazed career woman who palms her children off to nanny’s while she selfishly talks on her mobile phone (have you seen the movie Storks? Please reference for classic stereotypical example of career parents) OR  an obsessive stay at home mother, who spends all her time at the school canteen and frowns on mothers who dare to bring anything but sugar free home baked cookies to the Fete Bake stall.    Sure…there would be some people who sit at these exaggerated ends of the spectrum but most of us normal people would sit somewhere in the middle.

Our prioritization of our jobs and our kids may change from year to year, month to month, day to day even.   And there are so many other facets of our lives that define us. If I wasn’t a mother, I would not cease to exist or add no value.  But I am a mother and yes…I do work.  I am also a wife.  I am a friend. I am a blogger.  I am a really bad but enthusiastic dancer.

When I choose to “prioritise” dancing around the lounge room instead of doing homework with my kids,  does that make me a bad mum in that moment.  Hell no.  It makes me really hilarious and cool (just for the record)…and it makes my kids roll their eyes and laugh.

So PLEASE can we stop having this conversation.   We do not just have Option A and Option B on the table.   We have a plethora of choices,  and we need to stop judging people for the choices they have made.

At my funeral,  I hope my children talk about what a wonderful, caring Mum that I was.  My colleagues talk about my passion for my work.  My friends and husband talk about my general awesomeness.  Then they all do some daggy dancing at the wake.

Rant over.