I was watching my daughter at the weekend, dancing and singing with abandon. She is eight. She was putting her whole heart out there, singing, miming, doing hand gestures, kicking, spinning…she was doing it all.
They say dance like no one is watching, but she didn’t care that I was watching…in fact, the audience made her push harder, throw herself more energetically into the performance.
It made my heart lift, watching her… she wasn’t self-conscious at all, enjoying herself so much in the moment, not caring what others think because clearly she is thinking she looks fabulous, (after all…that is how she is feeling on the inside)
And it made me feel nostalgic, because I remember feeling the same way. So many hours spent in my bedroom, spinning and kicking. Imagining myself on the stage. It was so much fun. It was awesome.
Except, then I started to feel sad.
Because where has that girl gone? She has been replaced. By someone who is always a little bit anxious. Worrying a lot about what others think. Scared she is not doing things “right”. Someone who is held back by the knowledge that she is really not actually an amazing dancer.
Don’t get me wrong, I am conscious of having fun in my life. But what is missing, is the reckless abandon. Doing things that I’m not very good at, just for the joy of doing them.
It reminds me of a conversation that they were having on the MamaMia podcast the other week, about doing things you know that you know you are not good at on purpose…because as adults, sometimes we miss the point. That the fun is the creating, not the output.
So, I took some inspo from my little person and when I was feeling flat before work this morning…you guessed it…
I put on some tunes, turned it up WAY loud and I rocked it in the lounge room. I imagined I was on the stage and everyone was loving it.
I tell you, it is near impossible to feel bad whilst dancing and singing. It pumps through you like electricity. And I am reminded that even though I’m a very serious and responsible adult, I don’t always have to act like it….( I just better not tell my physio … but she didn’t specifically say no pirouettes, did she!?)