I’m in a tiny little meeting room in the office. It has one wall which is a window, so I have to turn my back to it…and i have a pen in my hand and my phone and notepad on the table, so from behind I look like I’m working. But I’m not, I’m sneaking in my 15min meditation.
The last couple of days I’ve done it outside after lunch. And it has been rather lovely, the sun is starting to appear and there are blossoms on the trees. The wind blows my hair while I listen to my breath. So even though the thoughts are still going crazy in my head, I’m feeling peaceful.
But not so much in here. I have a burning ball of anxiety in my stomach. Every time I hear a noise, a shot of adrenalin curses through my body like a murderer is about to enter. I keep reminding myself that the worse thing that could happen is someone might actually open the door and say something along the lines of “what are you doing?”…or simply “err..we have this room booked”…and even the likelihood of that is very very low. Yet, my brain seems to think it needs to be on high alert anyway… and …oh yes…I’m thinking…back to the breath…back to the breath.
I’m still not sure this is helping, but I’m still doing it. I made it through without anyone interrupting me. I’m pretty confident I’m not doing this right.
But I’m doing it. Points for trying. Right?