Love love love the idea of “stealth expectations”…. yes oh yes… THIS is my problem.

OK…so I was reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown last night,  and got to this section where she was saying that when our expectations don’t match our reality it can be really frustrating.   But it can be especially disappointing, if you never realised you had the expectations in the first place…that would be….STEALTH EXPECTATIONS…

Oh those sneaky expectations,  I imagine them now like ninja warriors, waiting around corners to jump out and surprise me with massive disappointments.

Brene even used an example which hit right at my hot buttons.  She talked about how her and her husband used to argue when they were both home at the weekends,  because they actually somehow found it easier when they had to do things on their own.  It was only after much debate on the subject, they realised that this was because when they were juggling the weekend and kids on their own,  they automatically lowered their expectations of what could be done.  But when they are both home together, they automatically increased their expectations on what could be achieved (to levels that actually couldn’t be achieved)…so then got frustrated with each other when they couldn’t get it all achieved.  But the sneaky part is…they never even realised they had those expectations initially….that’s how super stealth they were…

Oh my goodness… I have had that EXACT conversation with my husband.  I was very upset when he came home from a long trip (you can read about it here)…and it wasn’t until later that I realised that it was because I had expectations that things would be easier when he got back, and when they weren’t,  it made me really frustrated.  Stealth expectations.

Now I am more aware of the spy like skills of my expectations, I have started to look for them everywhere.  To seek them out and give them a good shake.  Because they don’t help me when it comes to just accepting what is happening, they just make me wish things were different …not meeting this imaginary expectation I never even knew I had.

So watch out,  they could be out to get you too…make sure you look behind the shower curtain before you get in…