I was lying in bed this morning reading a magazine and drinking my tea (I know…blissful, right!), and stumbled upon an article by Annabel Crabb in Marie Claire about women needing wives. Now, I don’t get on my soap box very often about women’s issues and I really don’t want to start complaining (which incidentally was the other article I read about in the magazine, but hey we’ll talk about that another day) but geez did this hit a hot button for me.
Oh my goodness, how I could do with a wife!
It really is incredible when you think how much women in the workplace has changed over the last 50 years, yet men in the workplace has not shifted much at all. Pretty much every woman I know is the one who has made some compromise on her work in order to juggle her children. And I have never thought about it in the context that Crabb presented. I do feel sometimes like I am working with one hand tied behind my back (literally, sometimes, like the day I presented a plan during a teleconference whilst simultaneously holding a bowl for my son to spew in…again, a story for another day).
When my husband needs to work late or travel overseas, it is one quick phone call to the household manager (e.g me) and so it is done. Yet, when I had to travel recently for work, it was a major production, there were spreadsheets, child co-ordination systems and incredible pre-planning (on my part).
No wonder women find it so hard to get ahead.
I can’t sit here and blame my husband. I do work slightly less hours and have an incredibly flexible workplace and boss. And at least in part, it is my fault. Yep, I confess, I’m a control freak and there is a part..deep down inside of me…that feels proud when I manage to successfully juggle it all. Mission accomplished. I am woman hear me roar…all that!
But this morning I imagined a world where I came home to a beautiful clean house with food smells wafting from the oven. The washing done, folded and put away. Where my children had been picked up from school and cared for by someone I love and trust. Where if I needed to work late I could just do that, instead of mentally trying to work out when I might have an hour free that I could squeeze in that last bit of work (10pm perhaps?). Would I be more successful at work? Would I be happier?
Ok..time to wake up, ‘cause that ain’t happening. However, perhaps it is time for us to revisit priorities in our house. Maybe it is time for me to let go on some things and push a bit harder on others, and not let the guilt eat at me. Maybe things have shifted a little too much out of my favour.
I don’t have a wife…but I have a husband and a family…who are pretty awesome, and capable and amazing (just like me!!)…so maybe they could do a little more to help even things out so that we are all capable of succeeding.
6 thoughts on “I totally need a wife…”
Interesting read. Like you. I cannot think of any woman I know who has not compromised her work for her children. I did find it interesting that you wrote about not getting on the soapbox and not being one to complain about women’s issues. Is it getting on the soapbox or complaining to highlight the facts that women face some specific challenges in the workplace and still earn less than men etc? I don’t think so, it’s just telling it like it is. Thinking how changes can be made to let go off a bit is one strategy, but it does need changes from everyone in the household (expectations of ourselves and perceived expectations from others) need to change, I would imagine. Remember you’re not alone and thanks for giving your insights and voice to others.
Thanks Amanda. Great points. Perhaps I do need to get on a soap box more often…soon you’ll be dragging me down telling me to shut up! I do hope we can continue to change perceptions about roles in the modern family, by changing things one little piece at a time in our little family unit. Thanks for taking the time to drop by and make a comment :o)
Great read… I have taken on a cleaner; as close to a wife as I can have and I love coming home from work every Tuesday knowing she has been x
Hi thanks for your comment. Ah yes, i too confess to also having a cleaner. I LOVE her, She cleans my sink with a toothbrush! Clean house is blissful for the 30min it lasts!
A good read, sounds very familiar! I too am a self confessed control freak, I work (part time) and yet even when husband is off work I try to do it all. Now don’t get me wrong, he cooks and keeps the kitchen clean but is oblivious to anything else that needs doing unless I spell it out. I work in the morning and then come home to start my job as Mammy, chauffeur, cleaner, chef, playmate. The trouble is that when I’m not run ragged trying to be ‘super mammy’ I feel like I’m not needed. Like you I can’t blame hubbie, I take it all on and feel like it’s my job to do try and do it all. A ‘wife’ sounds like a very good plan!!!!
Ah yes… so true. Someone posted something on facebook the other day which really resonated, that surrendering to letting the person you love, do things to help, doesn’t make you weak or incapable. Since I wrote this post I have been practicing letting go and building up the skills of my new wife (aka husband) 🙂