It is so much harder than you think to always be your authentic self. Until I started thinking about it fairly recently, I hadn’t noticed how many times I stop myself saying something…or say something different to what I am actually thinking because I feel like that is what I “should” be saying.
It’s been bubbling a lot to the surface recently. New job, new responsibilities. I find myself thinking that “I will be different”. I’m going to knock their socks off with my calm and insightful presence. I won’t be the first one to make comments in the meeting, I will sit quietly and ponder my responses carefully. I will not get too emotionally involved in my work.
But the thing is, as much as I would LOVE to execute these things…the reality is, the more I try to be and act like someone I’m not, the more mistakes and frustrations I have.
So that begs the question? Why do I do it? Why do we all do it?
I think part of it is wanting to be perfect. Often cleverly disguised as a need to be the “best I can be”…it really is perfectionism sneaking in. I want to file away the rough edges.
I guess the other part is fear. What if being the person that I am, doesn’t get me what I want? What if people don’t respect me for being…well…me?
But when I think about the times I have achieved the most, it is when I am being my authentic self. When I am confidently cracking jokes and using my passion to ignite the fire in everyone around me. So when I try to distinguish the flame on the “bad” parts, I end up distinguishing the flame on the things that make me awesome too.
So…sure….snorting/laughing/honking in my business meeting (yes…that really happened…sigh), may not have won me any favours and telling my story on this blog might expose even more of my flaws to people…but maybe, just maybe, they’ll see some of the awesome things I also do and they won’t mind about my rough edges.
Do you dare to just be yourself?