Happy New Year (OK..I realise the new year started some time ago, but I’m just getting back in the saddle here, so I think I’m allowed to say that).
This year, feels like it has started off with a bang for me. I’m still working out how I feel about that. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Two pretty cool things have happened –
1. My article has been published in Working Mum’s Collective’s new magazine
When I started this blog, I wasn’t really sure where I was going with it (actually, still don’t!), I just did it because writing out some of the crazy things going on in my head seemed to help them to fall into place, and perhaps not make me feel so crazy anymore. But my favourite part of blogging is when other mothers tell me that my rantings have made them feel better, or given them a new idea. Not surprisingly, I also love reading things from other working mothers, for exactly the same reason…and that is how I stumbled upon Sarah’s collections of articles and stories from working mothers.
I think she is amazing to have pulled together this new magazine and I am so proud to be part of it. Infact, I think it is super cool… in which case, you will probably think it is cool too, so you better go check it out!
2. I’m taking on new opportunities at work
I am returning to work full time and taking on new responsibilities. I’m super excited about what these changes will bring. Now that the kids are a bit older, i feel ready to take on more at work. Infact, I am relishing the idea of getting stuck into it. I’m also going to start going into the office more often, where I can connect with people and maybe…just maybe…go out for leisurely work lunches. (ha ha…I know I’m dreaming there).
With these great things happening, I am totally super excited, proud and inspired… but whilst i am totally those things, I am also uncertain, scared, intimidated and anxious.
What if people hate my article in the mag? What if they think I’m an idiot? or…what if they love it? What if more people come here to my blog and I can’t keep up…oh my goodness, it’s making me feel sick.
I also tossed and turned for days (weeks even). About making the decision to return to work full time. When I tell people, some of them get this funny look on their faces like they think I am crazy. And now I’m taking on a new role too!??! But it just feels like it was the right time for me. Actually…I WANT to invest more time in work. Does that make me a bad Mum? will I regret that later? I only had one day off a week and I didn’t spend it with the kids, I spent it at home doing chores….I’m so confused.
I don’t know..what am I thinking?!?!
Does this doubt mean that maybe these are the wrong decisions?
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”
It suddenly occurred to me, that this is what it feels like…to be at the end of my comfort zone. I don’t need to jump out of helicopters or walk on hot coals. Right here, right now…that is exactly where I am standing.
When I look at other people, I imagine that they are so much more certain in their choices. That if you are making the right choices in your life then surely you just feel pure joy, happiness and excitement…and that’s how you know you made the right decision.
But then I realise that in order to feel the good feelings, most likely you also have to plough through uncertainty and doubt to get there.
Because if you don’t feel uncomfortable for a while, it means your sitting pretty in your comfort zone. Deep down there is definitely a voice in me which is quietly whispering “woohoo..this is fun…this rollercoaster is awesome”. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s OK, I gave it a go, I got on the ride..and if nothing else, I am certain that I want to live my life always giving it a go.
So let’s move bravely forward together…and make this year a BIG one.
P.s…if you are not already part of my tribe…I’d love you to join me here. That means you won’t miss a blog when I update you once a week on what’s happening on my own little journey… simply press the subscribe button on the site… great to have you :o)