Killer expectations and learning to fail forward…

I’ve been talking a lot about expectations recently.   Realising that I have both subconscious and conscious expectations of myself ALL the time.  And when my life, my work, my adventures don’t meet up with those expectations, I get really frustrated and upset.   I recognise that they come from a deep seated belief that I should always try to be the best that I can be.   I’ve talked about this belief before,  that I have never considered myself a perfectionist because I am certainly not perfect,  but I must always try to be the best I can be…which is pretty much the same thing.   If there is something I know I can physically change or do better, then I must try to improve it.

Unfortunately,  that belief is rather unproductive.   At work it stalls my progress.   I’m working on a new project which I need to kick start, and my mind is whirring and clicking and overthinking trying to make sure that I do this “properly”, that I don’t make mistakes and that I ensure the program is a massive success.   This is delaying me just getting on with it, and potentially trying something different which may not work.

failing forwardLove the phrase “Failing Forward”.  Have heard it being used in the context of Cloud and Social solutions.  Because the possibilities are moving so fast now, there isn’t enough time to make things perfect.  If you wait for your ducks to be in a row, then you’ll miss out.   So the idea is to just get in there and try.   And there isn’t really any failure,  because failure simply means learnings, knowledge, better understanding…so you have to fail in order to move forward.

There is something re-assuring about that.   If I can line up my belief that I must be the best,  with the knowledge that I must allow myself to fail to be the best I can be…then my expectations change, and maybe I won’t be so hard on myself.

Expecting to fail…ha…I like it… I wonder if I will be upset if I succeed now?!




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