My life feels like it has gotten a little out of control recently… it wasn’t one big thing that happened… but little bit by little bit, chip chip chip chip…until I find myself in a whirlwind of chaos.
Nothing has actually gone terribly wrong (yet) and I still seem to be getting through each day…by the skin of my chinny chin chin.
But I hate this frazzled, disorganised feeling.
There is a part of me that thinks the answer is about letting go of having things “perfect”. To make peace with school notes going in on or after deadlines, with less priority work emails going unanswered, with the increasing pile of “to action” documents on my study table and catching the sight of the kids bathroom from the corner of my eye and wondering “hmm…when was the last time we washed those towels”.
I simply need to let go. To accept that I can’t do it all.
Except that I can’t. I feel like this black cloud is lurking around over my head. I hate being disorganised. The sight of the piles of crap on my study table makes my stomach lurch when I walk into the room. When my husband asks me a question about money, a shot of adrenalin shoots through my chest, as I am reminded that I haven’t looked at our bank accounts in months and I am just hoping everything is OK. My mind is distracted at work when I’m trying to focus but can’t find my pen under the piles of stuff on my study desk.
For me, I don’t think it is about seeking perfection…it is about having some order and structure to streamline my days, to control the chaos. It is about making active choices about what I will and won’t be doing..not just forgetting things.
Shannah Kennedy talks about this in her book “The Life Plan”. “Simplicity brings clarity” she says, and she talks about having a life full of clutter (internally and externally) becoming a drainer in your life. The more drainers you have the more they weigh you down and make your feel more stressed.
“Many people are surprised to realise how much satisfaction they can drive from doing small, seemingly inconsequential task, such as putting all their gadgets chargers in one place, booking a check-up with the dentist or filing documents in their correct folders”…
Oh soo true…I get a LOT of satisfaction from these kinds of things and they become really impactful in your day to day life. For example, the Tupperware cupboard in our house is currently overflowing with an assortment of mismatched tops and bottoms. When we unpack the dishwasher, the current method is to open the door, chuck the Tupperware in and then shut the door as fast as you can before it all comes toppling out. Of course, this makes school lunch packing time a very frustrating experience. I spend a good 15min every morning trying to dig out the right size containers, with corresponding lid, then piling everything back into the cupboard that has fallen all over the floor. I know if I just spent 30min one night pulling everything out and sorting it into piles, I’d cut my lunch making time in half every morning. (anyone got a tried and tested method for storage, I’d love to hear it!?)
OK, so it is time for action. I’ve made a list, yippee! School holidays are coming up soon, and I’m going to do me a bit of spring (winter) sorting. I’m going to tackle all those every day areas which are contributing to the daily feeling of chaos. The Tupperware cupboard, the key/cord/money/everything-else-we-haven’t-put-away box in the kitchen, my wardrobe (with the clothes scrunched up in balls) and my beautiful home office space.
Just making the list made me feel better. Ironically, just before I wrote this post, I was trying to find my notebook and the list I made, so I could remember and write about it for you… but I couldn’t find it. I spent a good 10min pacing the house, looking under piles, under my bed, in the dogs cage… I was about to start crying when I found it in an old supermarket bag on the floor in the corner…how?..why?
Anyway, I think the universe just gave me a hint that it really is time to take action. OK, I’m on it. I’ll let you know how I go.