If you haven’t already seen it, there is this great little app called “headspace” which has step by step guided meditations (or as they say…”a gym membership for your mind”). It has little videos to help explain things and is a great app for getting started…plus you can download the first 10 session for free, sweet. I’ve had the app for a while, and every now and again when I am feeling virtuous, I have listened to one or two.
But in the spirit of my SLOW DOWN month (no idea what I’m talking about? check out my previous blog here), I decided to properly truly subscribe. Not just for a month. Not for six months. But for a whole year.
Can you imagine how awesomely calm and in control I will be by the end of the year?
So, I’m prepped and ready to get in the zone. I only need 10mins. Easy. Right? WRONG! This is what actually has happened so far….
ATTEMPT 1: My son has a friend over, and they are all happily playing a game. I am folding the washing but when I remember about finding my 10min, I decide to seize this moment. I sneak down to the bedroom and I lie down. Actually this is lovely, can I have a nap instead? No. Focus Claire Focus. I turn the app on, the voice is soothing, I am starting to relax. I feel a tap on my shoulder. “Can you take me home now, I don’t feel well”. OK, can’t really tell my sons friend he needs to wait. Abandon ship today but we’ll be back.
ATTEMPT 2: It is the next day, the kids are watching TV. I once again tip toe away. Just as I am “running a scan through my body to notice how I am feeling”, I hear a hurde of elephants (aka children) coming down the corridor. I decide not to move a muscle. If I do not respond, surely they will go away. “Mum” “mum” “MUMMMMMM”. Nothing from me, I am relaxing here people can’t you see. “What is wrong with her?” “Dunno?”. My daughter starts hitting me on the head. I am stoic..I am so zen. I will not get annoyed. “I think she might be dead” hilarious laughter follows this comment..hmm ” Wait. I KNOW! she is doing one of those relaxation things, we can’t disturb her”. Smart boy!!! late but we got there. “Mum, mum, mum, is that what you are doing? “. OK…I give up…..eyes fly open (I think I freaked them)… “YES, YES that is what I am doing…and in future, please do not disturb me”.
ATTEMPT 3: I have once again snuck away, but this time, I pre-warned the kids…”going to do that relaxation thing pumpkins…so are you going to be Ok for 10min” “Yep mum”. 2min later, I sense my daughter coming into the room. She climbs onto the bed, but she doesn’t say anything. I try to pretend she is not there. She lies next to me for a little bit. Then rolls over me. Then pokes me in the arm. Still saying nothing though. Eventually she gets up, I think to leave, but no… now she is trying to brush my hair. Sigh… maybe tomorrow will be better?
ATTEMPT 4 : I decide to wait until the kids are at school (I know, why did I not think of this before?). I lie down on the bed, and I am in the zone. It seems to be working. I’m feeling a sense of calm. Then my phone rings (and to be clear, I am listening to this on an app on my phone, with headphones in, so the ringtone comes shattering through my conscious).
%$&%^$*#%& ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!! I AM NOT FEELING CALM. WHEN WILL I START FEELING CALM!!?
Luckily for us all, I will not let this defeat me. Stubborn determined Claire is out to play and I WILL do this. I will succeed in spending 10min of my day just zoning out. Universe, stop playing games with me….I got this…