During my holidays, I had some time to reflect on where I am at and whether I was still on the right path.

So I have a little story to share which kinda kick started that reflection process for me.  Just before the end of the year, I had a catch up at work about my own personal development.  Let’s just say…it didn’t quite go as planned.

I didn’t realise until I actually got on the call, how much my subconscious had been secretly hoping I was about to get promoted.   And when I didn’t (really…not actually a surprise)…I felt terrible.  Infact,  i committed a corporate deadly sin…I cried (I know…massive FAIL..right?).    Now, lucky for me,  the call was on teleconference.  And whilst these conversations are usually better done in person, I was thanking my lucky stars that it wasn’t.   I somehow managed to stumble my way through the rest of the call,  doing an incredibly good job of demonstrating exactly why I should NOT be given a promotion.  Then raced out of the office before anyone noticed (yes…ironically,  i was actually in the office when usually I spend all my days hidden away in my home office where I could have followed my usual route and lay down in the featus position and…well…no one needs to ever know).

At first I was angry and sad at the same time.  It feels like “other people” are getting into Executive roles and surely it is my time.  How hard do I have to work,  how much do i need to commit?  This is crap.  My awesomeness is clearly not being recognised, maybe it is time to bail.  Stupid…^#$%$  work.

Then I started to feel like an idiot.  WHY OH WHY did I cry?   damn it.  Such a loser thing to do.  And whilst I was busy being annoyed and frustrated, wasn’t my boss offering some great alternatives and suggested development.  Can’t remember wasn’t listening.  I’m such a loser.

And then I settled into acceptance and reflection.  I remembered that whilst I really wish I could handle my emotions better, and that crying wasn’t my default position (ask anyone who has the pleasure of hanging with me for a while… angry = crying,  sad= crying, happy = crying, advertisements = crying…seriously! some of those things are real tear jerkers),  that my emotional investment in what I do is also an indication of my passion and my commitment.  I’m giving this everything I’ve got, and that’s also what makes me successful.

So what does “success” really look like?  When I stop and think about it (OK..so I may have been writing a completely different post if I had been given a promotion…but sometimes external factors help us to reflect on where we are at) do I actually really want a promotion?  Or is it just because that is something everyone else has?   What are the things I enjoy the most about work and what are my personal goals this year?

And when I think about those things,  I realise that I’m in a really awesome place right now.  Things are going really well with work, I am enjoying what I am doing and there are heaps of great opportunities and challenges for me this year.

One of the most important things on my list, is continuing to have fun. There really is no point in doing what your doing  unless you are having fun doing it (OK, so the money is kinda good and necessary because I do have a mortgage and a family and things to pay but…).  I want to laugh everyday,  i want to get excited about what I am doing.  These things are at the top of my list and infact, I’m lucky enough that my current job allows me to do that…which I am super excited about .    So I’ll leave you with a great quote Meg from  The Other Side of 40 posted on Facebook the other day.

“Measure your success by how much fun your having” – Gabby Bernstein

Are you going to be successful this year?